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The day has come. Like an oasis rising in the middle of a desert, your dream card has finally come to auction. After years of waiting for this card to hit the auction block, it has finally appeared. There’s no way you’re missing out on this card. You are committed. There’s one last hurdle before you lock in that bid. Getting your spouse's okay.
Maybe your household financial situation doesn’t warrant a conversation. Or you might have figured out a process long ago in your collecting journey. If so, that’s great!
But for the collectors who are approaching this conversation for the first time, the steps below provide actionable steps on how to approach that conversation. Even if you’re convinced you have a solid process in place already, there might be a thing or two you can pick up along the way. So buckle in as we explore how to talk to your spouse about buying a big sports card.
Pre-Conversation
1. Do Your Research and Be Prepared
Brett from Stacking Slabs always likes to say, “You’re the CEO of your PC”. I agree with his statement and will add that if you’re the CEO, then your spouse is the Board of Directors. They want to see you succeed and build the best collection possible, but they’re also there to keep you in check and protect the PC from reckless decisions.
Before you approach meeting with the Board (Aka, your spouse), you do your homework. You prepare. Gather all relevant information that might be important to your conversation with them. Learn the card’s history, learn about its lineage, figure out your bid price, and prepare to give everything you can to support your decision to purchase this card. If YOU need to convince yourself this card at this price is worth it, check out our, "How to Get Comfortable with Big Sports Card Purchases" guide.
The non-exhaustive checklist of points to prepare:
Importance to Your Collection: Why you need this particular card so badly
Current Market Price: How much it’s going for on various platforms. (I use Card Ladder Sales History for this).
Comparable Player Sales: How have similar cards for other players sold recently
Historical Significance: What elements of the card stand out that make it noteworthy
Preparation demonstrates respect for your spouse’s perspective and shows that you’re treating this purchase seriously, not on a whim.
During Conversation
2. Be Transparent About the Financial Impact
A significant sports card purchase can impact your shared finances, so it's essential to address this directly and honestly. Start by laying out the financial details and your plan to fund the purchase. Are you using profits from previous card sales or dipping into your savings? Is this coming from your personal collecting budget, or are you proposing to tap into shared credit or household funds?
Here are key points to discuss with your spouse:
Payment Method: Will you use cash, savings, a credit card, or the proceeds from consigned cards? Are you using a funding service to pay for this purchase? Clarify whether this is a self-funded purchase or requires shared financial resources.
Impact on Budget: Explain whether this purchase affects your shared budget, including savings goals or planned expenses. If adjustments are necessary, outline them upfront.
Future Collecting Plans: How does this purchase influence your collecting budget in the long term? Will it reduce or reshape your monthly, quarterly, or yearly spending on cards?
Having a transparent conversation shows respect for your financial partnership and helps build trust around your hobby. It also demonstrates that you’re approaching this purchase thoughtfully and responsibly.
3. Acknowledge Their Perspective
For many people, the concept of spending thousands on a sports card is crazy. Or they may worry about risks like market dips or changes in personal financial circumstances. Take time to listen to their perspective and validate any concerns they may have. Try to walk in their shoes and view your proposal from their perspective.
This could include:
Understanding Financial Fears: Are they concerned about spending money on something that might not be appreciated?
Respecting Priorities: Are they worried it will impact other financial priorities they may want to invest in?
Acknowledging their viewpoint strengthens trust and lays a foundation for compromise.
4. Discuss the How This Card Fits into your Long-Term Collection Plan
Is this card a speculative investment, one you hope to sell at a profit soon? Or is it a cornerstone piece for your collection, perhaps even a card you envision as part of your legacy to pass down to future generations?
Having a clear plan for the card and your collection can help alleviate concerns by giving your spouse insight into why it matters to you and how it fits into your life together. Share your vision, including:
Investment Strategy: Is this a short-term flip, a medium-term hold, or a long-term cornerstone addition to your collection? Clarify whether it’s a speculative purchase or a stable piece you expect to grow steadily in value, even if it’s prone to market fluctuations.
Legacy Intentions: If this card is part of a legacy you plan to build, explain how it ties into your family’s future and the significance it holds for you.
Exit Strategy: Be upfront about how you’d handle the card if you needed to sell it. Detail the steps you’d take, including potential transaction costs, to demonstrate you’ve considered all scenarios.
When your spouse sees that you’ve thought through these aspects, they’re more likely to feel comfortable with the purchase, knowing it’s not a spur-of-the-moment decision but a part of a broader plan.
5. Express Why the Card Matters to You Personally
Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the financial and logistical details, but don’t forget to share why this card matters to you. What’s your reason for collecting sports cards and your motivation to chase this particular one?
Whether it’s a nostalgic connection to a player, a sentimental reason, or owning one of your favorite player’s best cards, let them see your passion. When your spouse understands the emotional value, it may help them feel more comfortable with the decision.
6. Be Open to Compromise
Finally, if your spouse isn’t completely on board, well that sucks you’re buying the card anyway! Just kidding. You should be open to a compromise. Perhaps you sell more of your current collection to fund the purchase or commit to a hiatus on buying after the purchase has been made. Showing flexibility demonstrates that you’re willing to prioritize their comfort and respect their input.
Conclusion
Talking to your spouse about a big sports card purchase requires more than just the excitement of collecting—it’s about transparency, compromise, and aligning your decision with your shared goals. You want to build a sustainable hobby and maintain a healthy relationship. Don’t let little pieces of cardboard get in the way of that.
Best Practices: Separate Accounts & Threshold for Review
A “Yours, Mine, and Ours” account system can work wonders for managing your sports card spending. In this approach, each partner has their own personal account for discretionary spending, while both contribute enough to a shared account to cover joint expenses and savings goals.
You might wonder, “If I’m using my own money, do I even need to have this conversation?” The answer depends on your relationship dynamic and personal circumstances. A good rule of thumb: ask yourself if you’d want to be informed about a similar purchase your spouse was making. If the answer is yes, it’s worth bringing up.
To simplify things, consider creating a "collection policy" together. Agree on a price threshold that dictates when a discussion is needed. For instance, purchases below the threshold are no-questions-asked, while anything above warrants a check-in. This helps avoid repeated conversations while ensuring you’re aligned on big decisions.